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…. as written from just South of Winnipeg at 12,000 metres, it’s time for a recap of the last nine weeks.

  Best   Worst
Airline Air New Zealand from Auckland to Sydney. Upgraded, big seats, big screens and lots of free stuff.   United from San Francisco to London. Dominatrix pensioners, screaming babies and loud men. Thai Airways out of London was a close second.
Airline lounge Air New Zealand in Auckland. Gave us beans and toast for breakfast.   US Airlines in Phoenix. No food and drinks are charged. On the plus side, the barman did sing us a song.
Surprise How big America is. And some of them even know where the UK is. And Lone Pine was pretty cool.   Having the wallet stolen on New Year’s Eve.
Drinks Happy hour martini’s at “the bitter end” in San Diego. Bad hangover.   Happy hour martini’s at “the bitter end” in San Diego. Wine in Marlborough, New Zealand is a close second.
Accommodation Green house on the hill for ambience. The second hotel in Melbourne for facilities.   Melbourne guest house. No en suite toilet or aircon. It’s high 30’s outside.
View Yosemite (Franz Josef Glacier a close second)   The rain from the motel in Kaikoura while doing nothing.
Place Yosemite. Or snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef.   Las Vegas. Bored after three hours and we have three days there.
Food Malaysian/Chinese food on Cuba Street, Wellington.   Most of America. We OD on salt and retain too much water.
Baggage check Flagstaff. About an hour on both our bags. Seriously bored staff.   New Zealand. Opened the bags but didn’t look inside because it was so tidy.
Weather Sydney, Australia and Bay of Islands, New Zealand   San Francisco – it rained except for the first day.
Stephen’s cutting comments) N/A   “it’s ok I can read signs” to the guide at the Hoover dam asking if we needed directions.
In flight movie Burn after reading   Sisterhood of the travelling pants 2. (This is without watching it too!)
Unfriendly receptionist Wanaka. She wouldn’t stop talking to us.   Alice Springs so called “Resort”
Most surreal moment Critic-ing “Adrenalin Rush Hour” for the discovery channel in Vegas.   Vegas timeshare saleswoman thinking the UK was on the European continent …. somewhere.

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After an early night in Wanaka, it’s an hour drive to Queenstown airport. Car returned, we wait a couple of hours for the Qantas flight.4087 leaving queenstown

Except for the initial fantastic views over the Southern Alps, it’s an uneventful flight.  As we come in to land it’s 25 degrees but with a humidity of 100%

With the city centre 29km away and an early start the next day, we stay in an Airport Hotel in Auckland. The Kiwi International Hotel sounds luxurious but is in fact a distinctly 2 star affair. With no air-con, the humidity is oppressive.

We’re peckish and go on the hunt for food. There’s a supermarket nearby but with only a kettle and some cutlery, it’s slim pickings.

4088 lunch at kiwi international

I’m considering a new career in modern art. Therese has a cup a soup.

Bad food, bad TV and a couple of hours later, we have something a little more substantial from a nearby Greek themed place, followed by a couple of glasses of wine in the hotel. The heat drops … but only a little. We manage an hour or so of sleep before the 0345 start the next day.

The shuttle bus drops us at the Airport and it’s a quick check in and through to the lounge. We demolish some beans on toast while waiting for the next flight, to Sydney.

We get another upgrade on Air New Zealand and get through the new Coen Brothers film (good). In Sydney for 0830 local time, we’ve already been up nearly 7 hours.  The next flight isn’t until mid-afternoon and the baggage couldn’t be routed, so we have to clear customs and enter Australia again, only to check in later. A last minute electronic visa application and we’re sitting back in the lounge by 1 o’clock waiting for our flight out …

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0730 up.

0830 taxi.

0915 at airport.

0930 through passport control.

0940 in lounge (despite stolen frequent flyer card).

It’s sunny outside. The emergency alarm goes off … but it’s just a test.

Thankfully the weather for Auckland is still good, if a little cooler – so it won’t be a complete shock.

Bye Australia.

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Our replacement cards are due this morning from UPS. We’ve been religiously monitoring their progress for nearly a week … with a minor panic when they seemed to arrive in Melbourne Saturday morning then go to Sydney. Irrespective, a check this morning shows they are in transit in Melbourne at around 0530. Cool.

Not so cool is that I have to go back to the Claremont guest house. Since it was our planned address in Melbourne, it’s also the delivery address UPS had (which couldn’t be changed … I checked). The kind folks at Claremont would be happy to receive the package – but would refuse to sign for it. Come 0730 I’ve left the Seasons Heritage Melbourne (grabbing a couple of complimentary papers) and take the 2km walk back to the Claremont.

I’ve still got 30 minutes internet time there … so kill some time logging on for a couple of minutes, pulling down lots of wikipedia items, then logging off again. I am now an expert on Ricardo Montalbán, the main characters of Star Trek movies, found out that Leonard Nimoy decided to stay on for more movies after Star Trek II since he enjoyed it so much, Scotty stopped someone committing suicide and they were later inspired to undertake and engineering degree and in real life Walter Koenig (Chekov) was best man at George Takei (Sulu’s) wedding. Awww.

Anyhow … Therese arrives around 0930, reads the papers, gets bored and is dispatched to find some coffee. Time passes slowly. There’s only so much Star Trek trivia I can do in one go. Just as I start leafing through obscure background to The Empire Strikes Back, Mr UPS appears. A signature later and we have the package. Woohoo.

Back at the hotel our wallets almost feel normal again. There’s quite a lot of relief since we need our newly issued drivers licences in a couple of days for New Zealand. We also don’t need to rely on the one Amex card (that’ll do nicely, but we’ll charge another 3% due to the huge mark up) we had and can return to the real world with Visa and Mastercard.

With the temperature in the mid 30’s, we jump the tram down to St. Kilda. It’s full of school kids on their last week of holidays, along with a few loud tourist kids who take great pleasure in blowing and popping the loudest chewing gum bubbles imaginable.  My best telekinetic efforts to transport them to Kuala Lumpur (where gum is banned) fail.

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We stop off at a “Lentil as anything” Near Acland Street. It works on the principle that you pay what you think it was worth. Any profits go to charity. The food is good and it’s worth a visit. No nut roasts in sight.

A little fried by the sun, we pop back late afternoon for a little packing. There’s be an early-ish flight tomorrow – then out for a couple of drinks. This will probably be the last decent sun we have until May.

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3596 melbourne A little change of scenery today. Brandishing our metcard, it’s the tram then train to Williamstown on the West side of the Bay.

The weather is pretty toasty as we arrive there just after midday. The seafront is packed with day visitors, locals and people just cruising around.

With an hours walk under our belt, it’s time to add something else to it as Therese cannot resist the advert for the wood fired pizza.3597 melbourne

Fortunately, the other advert could be resisted …

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It’s then a lazy trip back to Melbourne followed by a walk through Albert park. We need to appreciate the next couple of days weather before we depart for Auckland.

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